How much is you SANITY worth ?

Engagements always start out exciting and new, but that feeling often wears off when the reality of all the responsibilities sets in. A wedding can be a logistic nightmare; between setting a budget, sticking to it, arranging for the venue, and catering, guests’ accommodation and gifts, etc. It’s not surprising that 40% of couple “can’t wait for the wedding to be over and done with”.
Many couples, especially those on a tight budget, never think about hiring a wedding planner, assuming it’s a luxury service they don’t need or could never afford. What they don’t realize is that having outside help can save you time, aggravation, and even money. Sure, wedding planners charge you a service fee, but the discounts and expertise they can provide during the planning process, usually more than pay for itself.

If you’re on the fence as to whether you should hire a professional wedding planner, some important questions you can ask yourself to help you decide.

• Are you way behind on your checklist and schedule? (If you’re trying to plan your wedding without a checklist or schedule, just skip to down below, because you are definitely in need of help!)
• Have you set a budget but are unsure if you can stay within that budget while hiring vendors that gel with your personality? (If you haven’t set a budget, again, just skip down, you definitely can’t do this on your own! Or, you are lucky enough to an unlimited budget, where you’ll definitely want help coordinating all of the expensive details.)
• Do you and your fiancée both work full-time jobs that will prevent you from meeting or corresponding with vendors on weekdays?
• Can you envision your wedding, but have no idea how to achieve it?
• Are you just looking in wedding magazines and big-name wedding websites for vendor recommendations? (Hint – most of these “recommended” vendors pay for that title, which means they have a big marketing budget, but doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best.)
• Do you want to avoid having to ask your bridesmaids to spend hours setting up important details like table cards, centerpieces, etc. on your wedding day?
• Are you having a short engagement (anything less than 9 months)?
• Are you having a destination wedding?
• Are you feeling overwhelmed and wishing you had decided to elope?
• Do you actually want to enjoy your wedding and not worry that something might go wrong that you can’t fix?

If you answered yes to one or more of the questions above, you should at least meet with a wedding planner for a free consultation. It’s easy to assume that if you’re looking to cut your budget, this is an expense to avoid, but keep in mind that hiring someone with experience can help you avoid common, and costly, mistakes that add stress.

One major advantage of hiring a professional wedding planner is that they usually have an established list of local vendors. More specifically, most wedding planners have a network of resources to recommend who are truly allies to the community; this can work to your benefit because you get reputable services without having to go through the trouble of testing several different companies and risk having some awkward moments.
The average bride spends 250 hours on wedding planning without the help of a professional.

The amount of time you spend planning your wedding can be cut dramatically with the help of a wedding planner and the time you do spend planning will be more efficient and not wasted with indecision and inexperience.

Like the yarn tree in the photo above, the responsibilities keep piling on until you don't even see the tree anymore.

What is your time, not to mention your sanity, worth to you?

How to Avoid Being a Bridezilla

In the world of wedding planning, stress levels are high, immune systems are low and the number of victims keep increasing by the year, there is no cure. Its been dubbed various clinical names: Multiple Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Temporary Insanity, but in my world, this "illness" is more commonly termed "Bridezilla Syndrome" or 'BS" .

So how do you avoid "catching" the bug ?

I tried reciting a mantra "Zen! Zen! Zen!" (it didn't work), friends tried taking me on spa trips, food trips and shopping trips (enjoyed every bit of it, but it still didn't work). Here's some tips I hope will work for you :

1. Bridezillas are made, not born. Wedding planning is like taking on a part time job (sometimes its full time), the stress of deadlines, demands of the family, the content decision making, managing vendors and the emotional roller coaster you go through, its no wonder you catch the BS bug.

Antidote : Chill out ! Remember the wedding is about two people who are in love who want to be together forever and THAT is what matters. Not the shade of red you want your roses to grow into. Take time off from the wedding, catch a movie, go for a manicure, do something un-wedding and you'll come back with a fresh perspective and in a much better mood. You might even be inspired by what you see in the non wedding world.

2. Everyone has something to say about everything. Among congratulatory wishes, you will get unsolicited advice, bombarded with horror stories and negative vibes from friends and family who think their helping (but their not)

Antidote : Decide what the both (yes both of you, include the groom in the process – please) want and stay centered. Set clear boundaries about what you want and stick to it. Some weddings are for the sake of other people (sad to say) but the marriage is for the two of you , focus on what it means to you. Who cares that your distant cousin has the same flowers for her bouquet.

3. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. You'll be surprise at how emotional you can get on and before the wedding day (I told myself that I will not shed a tear, but Nigara falls came climbing down and for a -some would say- stupid reason). The process itself sets forth a period of growth and change that can be nerve wracking.

Antidote : You can embrace this as the next chapter in your journey and realize that it can only get better from here. Try to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with yourself during this time, resolve any unresolved issues and you'll see everything in a much better light. Believe that there is a happily ever after.

4. Wedding planning can be a crisis . There is so much focus on how to make the wedding look beautiful, making the wedding be the talk of town and providing the guests with a party of a lifetime, the bridezilla loses herself and the reason she is getting married in the first place.

Antidote : Remember that the wedding although its the most important party you will throw, it is exactly only that – a party. The reason you are getting married in the first place is because you love each other and want to start a new chapter of your life together. Guests are inspired by the love they feel in the room, who cares whether you had 28 cupcakes which had exactly 28 hearts that are 100% identical.

5. Perfect Wedding = Perfect Life (NOT!), some bride's give the wedding day too much power. They believe that the perfect wedding will mean the perfect marriage and the perfect life. There is an underlying fear that if something goes wrong with the wedding, it is a sign that will make or break the marriage.

Antidote : Step back, breathe. Now look at it from a fresh set of eyes, the wedding day, while important, is only one of the many experiences and memories you will share together. The most important part is when you walked down the aisle into the arms of the person you love (so don't stare at your bridesmaids if they are not standing in a perfect formation)

Bride-Zilla

The bridezilla; is not a mystical creature or even related to the movie icon Godzilla, but beware the bridezilla is a very real and terrifying creature. The sweetest and most understanding girl can turn out to be a bridezilla overnight.

I should know , I was definitely one. Ask any of my wedding vendors, my bridal party, my friends and family they will all agree I was a 100% bridezilla on a rampage during my wedding plans. They shivered whenever I called to ask a question.

The bridezillas natural habitat is the ballroom of a grand hotel, she eats bridesmaids for breakfast and if you tell her that you won't be able to get the right shade of red roses she wants, her icy stare will turn you to stone.

Here are some tell tale signs :

- She wants a shade of "happy" green that only she knows and feels, when you've shown her the 100th shade of green and she still screams that its not "happy" enough, you, by sheer luck show her the very first green shade and she loves it.

- She makes her bridesmaids agree to lose weight for her wedding and then weighs them periodically

- Bridezilla makes you wear gloves to protect the invitations you are stuffing them into envelopes

- She chooses the ugliest bridesmaid dresses in history so that she'll look extra beautiful by comparison

- The wedding ceremony is at noon, but the reception doesn't start until 6pm. Whatever. Its her special day, so everyone else can just deal with it

- Bridezilla gets mad if guests don't dress up to her standard on her wedding day

- Bridezillas were born the day the first bride-to-be asked for the reception venue to be painted to match her colors, the chandeliers to be more cheery and the carpets to match her eyes.

- She demands to have 3 types of nuts in her wedding cake, even though the poor groom is allergic to nuts

- She tried 6 makeup artist (no matter the cost) before deciding on one for the morning and one for the evening.

- Although no one else can see that 1mm discrepancy in the way the branch on her tree is tilted more to the left than the other branch (on her invitation card), she spots it and reprints the entire batch of cards

- She bought, customized and shipped every little detail you can think of from all over the world. From faux diamonds to strew on the tables, to a customized parasol that costs USD 250 just to use for photos, to handmade candies for her candy bar, to even flying the right scent of essential oil just for the restrooms.

- The last but not least easiest way to spot a bridezilla (super fast too), they tell you, “I’m getting married!” – This is the best and quickest way to figure out if you’re dealing with a bridezilla. When they tell you they are getting married, if they never mention their husband, it’s a good sign that she’s a bridezilla. First of all, “she” isn’t getting married,“they’re” getting married. Second of all, “I’m getting married!” is almost always followed by, “I’ve got so much work to do now.” There’s goes that “I” word again. Remember, “Never I, never me, always us, always we” … wait, I mean, “Our marriage, their wedding” … wait, well you know what I mean.

The bridezilla's main aim is (in her terms) to have a flawless wedding, perfect (according to her) to the tee. As a friend, just stand back so that you won't get burnt, as the groom, this is a true test of whether you love her or not, if you can survive this, you can survive anything.

If you have any of these traits you're a BRIDEZILLA - Bless us all ..

Guest Hospitality Management

We just completed our first full-scale Guest Hospitality Management assignment over in Siem Reap, Cambodia. And much like our associate partner Nupts & Such, GHM is something we offer to our clients - especially clients who are doing destination weddings over in Indochina.

Do CLICK HERE for more information about what GHM entails. But in a nutshell :

GHM Workscope includes :

- Handling guest RSVPs after your invitations have been sent out
- Sorting out guests’ accommodation at the destination
- Organising guests’ transportation and logistics – this could be their flights to and from the destination, including airport transfers, as well as transfers from accommodation to wedding venue for guests who aren’t staying at the wedding venue
- Answering any guests’ enquiries regarding the wedding in terms of itinerary/schedule, dress code, do’s and don’ts
- Managing any other guests’ requirements eg. travel and tour bookings, hair and make-up arrangements for guests, obtaining local SIM cards, etc.

We have to say that whilst GHM entails logistics (and managing these logistics in the most effective and efficient manner), the end objective of GHM is to ensure that all your guests are happy campers. The GHM team is on board to ensure that all your guests' needs are taken care of and help is extended to them in every ways possible.

Over in Siem Reap, we had the nicest guests ever and some of them were such darlings that on the day we departed, they came to say Thank You to us, bearing gifts and pressies. Awww.... that's so sweet. And that just makes our day!

If you'd like to enquire about GHM with us, do drop us a line!
_________________________

The TWP GHM Team in Siem Reap, Cambodia

Expatriates On The Team eases communication barriers

Sorting out Guest Welcome Notes

Airport Pick-Ups for All Guests

Organizing Tours for Guests

GHM Desk to assist in Guests Enquiries

Simple, Chic and Fabulous !

Isn’t it fabulous when something so cheap, so easy and so simple can turn out so fabulous? Here was a wedding where the bride’s request was to use what the environment could give us.

Our challenge started a few months before when the bride and I went snorkeling for stones, shells and other sea worthy items to use. Yes the things wedding planners had to do to please the bride. We even had to canoe to find the resident shark so that we were assured that when the boys were given a task to snap a photo of the shark , they would actually find it !

So we used what we could get from nature and made wonders with it , I was actually quite surprised that the guests really enjoyed our DIY décor and the photos were stunning.

Here are some easy ideas for you to follow :

Noise Makers : For the guests to make noise during the festivities. We put dead corals into mineral bottles and tie ribbons around the neck.

Centerpiece : We used shells, sand, stones, leaves and added a bit of candles to create a unique centerpiece for every table

Beach Décor : Use paper bags, add a candle in it and light up the beach with your homemade luminaries

Escort Card : We used stones and wrote the guests names on it to act as escort cards

Place Card : We use sturdy leaves from trees to write the guests names on it

So think about it, what do you have that will make your wedding more YOU..

Wedding Samples : BE REASONABLE

Cartoon by Mike Cope / COPETOONS.COM

In our line of work in this market, there is one persistent issue that keeps cropping up - and that is clients requesting for free samples or free sampling. For me personally - whilst I believe in the notion of "no surprises" on day of event, I think judgement and reason ought to be practised when requesting for samples from vendors.

Why? Simply because - samples are also cost to these vendors, who by the way, operate a business and not a "FREE SAMPLES / SAMPLING" institution. It's all good and fine if the particular vendor has samples in hand to show to the client - be it a tangible product like a guest sign-in book or a votive candle holder or even perhaps, samples of invitation cards or other stationeries. But in the event where the vendor does not have a sample product in hand, be reasonable. Sometimes, in all likelihood, a photo reference or a sketch might suffice.

For clients requesting for samples, do keep in mind a few key points :

1) Have you agreed on the quotation / budget of the vendors? Has a deposit amount been paid?
If the answer is yes to both questions, then it is in the goodwill of the vendors to provide a sample or a sketch that will meet your final approval. However, if you have not agreed on any quotes or budgets and neither has a deposit been paid, then it is certainly extremely unfair to request for samples - especially in the event where the vendor has to purchase the samples without there being a confirmed business from you. One might argue that this is the vendor's investment when pitching for a business - which might be true. But in all honesty, it is up to the vendor to decide if your business is worth pitching for. So, exercise common sense and reason when dealing with vendors. We all understand only too well that it is better to see finished goods 100% as per to appear on the wedding day, but there are costs involved and how each vendor deals with this cost is different.

2) Raw materials / 1-time-usage materials / Perishable products (Eg. Flowers, Wine, Cake, etc...)
Even if the quote has been agreed on, for certain items, there are still high costs involved for samples due to its perishable nature. Especially when it comes to flower arrangements. If you are not able to visualize the details from a sketch and require a real-life sample, understand that there are costs involved. Be prepared to pay for the sample, if not offer to pay for it. Why? For a florist to arrange a table centrepiece for your viewing pleasure, there is the flower cost involved and not to mention time cost too. Unless this is already accounted for in the budget agreed, it is not fair to make the vendor pay for the sample cost. Simply because this is your wedding. It is your investment to make. Not theirs.

And when it comes to wine-tasting, sure, most vendors would offer a free tasting session for their clients who have ALREADY agreed upon a certain budget to spend on wines or champagnes. However, during the tasting session - understand one thing - every opened bottle is cost to the wine supplier. Even if only one sip had been taken from the bottle, there is no way for him or her to sell that bottle. So next time, you go for a wine-tasting session, be reasonable. Do you really need to taste that $8 bottle of champagne or that $25 bottle of wine? (What do you really expect from the champagne or wine at that price??) If you feel you must, then offer to pay for the opened bottles. Just as you, a client do not wish for vendors to take you for a ride, vendors feel the same way. It's not a free happy hour session where you bring 3 or 4 friends to the tasting session, you know.

3) Samples from overseas
Undeniably, resources in Cambodia can be a tad challenging and sometimes, some of the materials are sourced from overseas. But when you request for overseas vendors to send you samples, exercise reason again - offer to pay for the cost of sending the samples, whether it is via courier or other forms. Can you imagine if you request first batch of sample (courier costing $100) and you don't like them. And you require a second batch or third batch of sample even. The courier costs add up. So, again, be reasonable.

4) Cheapskate Vendors?
Just because the cost of 1 sample is $5 and the vendor is claiming this back from you, don't accuse the vendor of being a calculative cheapskate (likewise, the vendor can say the same thing of you!). Again, be reasonable - he or she is running a business. Every cent counts especially when they are only operating on an SME level and not that of an MNC. As mentioned, vendors will practise their own descretion as to whether investing in samples for you is a worthy cause or not.

Most of the time, vendors are more agreeable to free samples / free sampling for clients of wedding planners. This is because we bring repeat businesses to them. But as wedding planners, whilst we strive to negotiate the best deal possible for our clients, we are reasonable and understanding with our fellow compatriates as well. And sometimes, when clients "misbehave", like bringing a group of friends to a wine-tasting session and thereafter, not confirming a single bottle with the vendor, - we get .... really embarassed for introducing the client to the vendor. Not only did the vendor not make any profit, they made losses instead!

I mean, in this world, everywhere and anywhere you might go - when it comes to doing business, it is better to go for a win-win situation. As long as we all communicate logically and listen to reasons, your dream wedding can be very beautiful with vendors going the extra mile for you.

Catching the BS

In the world of wedding planning, stress levels are high, immune systems are low and the number of victims keep increasing by the year, there is no cure. Its been dubbed various clinical names: Multiple Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Temporary Insanity, but in my world, this "illness" is more commonly termed "Bridezilla Syndrome" or 'BS" .

So how do you avoid "catching" the bug ?

I tried reciting a mantra "Zen! Zen! Zen!" (it didn't work), friends tried taking me on spa trips, food trips and shopping trips (enjoyed every bit of it, but it still didn't work). Here's some tips I hope will work for you :

1. Bridezillas are made, not born. Wedding planning is like taking on a part time job (sometimes its full time), the stress of deadlines, demands of the family, the content decision making, managing vendors and the emotional roller coaster you go through, its no wonder you catch the BS bug.

Antidote : Chill out ! Remember the wedding is about two people who are in love who want to be together forever and THAT is what matters. Not the shade of red you want your roses to grow into. Take time off from the wedding, catch a movie, go for a manicure, do something un-wedding and you'll come back with a fresh perspective and in a much better mood. You might even be inspired by what you see in the non wedding world.

2. Everyone has something to say about everything. Among congratulatory wishes, you will get unsolicited advice, bombarded with horror stories and negative vibes from friends and family who think their helping (but their not)

Antidote : Decide what the both (yes both of you, include the groom in the process – please) want and stay centered. Set clear boundaries about what you want and stick to it. Some weddings are for the sake of other people (sad to say) but the marriage is for the two of you , focus on what it means to you. Who cares that your distant cousin has the same flowers for her bouquet.

3. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. You'll be surprise at how emotional you can get on and before the wedding day (I told myself that I will not shed a tear, but Nigara falls came climbing down and for a -some would say- stupid reason). The process itself sets forth a period of growth and change that can be nerve wracking.

Antidote : You can embrace this as the next chapter in your journey and realize that it can only get better from here. Try to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with yourself during this time, resolve any unresolved issues and you'll see everything in a much better light. Believe that there is a happily ever after.

4. Wedding planning can be a crisis . There is so much focus on how to make the wedding look beautiful, making the wedding be the talk of town and providing the guests with a party of a lifetime, the bridezilla loses herself and the reason she is getting married in the first place.

Antidote : Remember that the wedding although its the most important party you will throw, it is exactly only that – a party. The reason you are getting married in the first place is because you love each other and want to start a new chapter of your life together. Guests are inspired by the love they feel in the room, who cares whether you had 28 cupcakes which had exactly 28 hearts that are 100% identical.

5. Perfect Wedding = Perfect Life (NOT!), some bride's give the wedding day too much power. They believe that the perfect wedding will mean the perfect marriage and the perfect life. There is an underlying fear that if something goes wrong with the wedding, it is a sign that will make or break the marriage.

Antidote : Step back, breathe. Now look at it from a fresh set of eyes, the wedding day, while important, is only one of the many experiences and memories you will share together. The most important part is when you walked down the aisle into the arms of the person you love (so don't stare at your bridesmaids if they are not standing in a perfect formation)