Back to Work Blues

The back-to-work blues hit me pretty fast. The wedding was on a Saturday and by Monday, everything was back to normal – it was so surreal. What a reality slap to the face! I had hoped to live in La- La land for a little while longer, but work would not have it.

So sad as it was, we were plummeting into our work almost immediately, but we still had the final wedding bills, the tidying up of ‘family politics’ and the cleaning up of the house to keep us in the “wedding mood”.

I suppose, it was my fault for arranging the honeymoon right after our Bali reception because that would mean I already had all my fun. But my husband promises that we would have a 2nd honeymoon as soon we settle our housing loan.

But for now, it’s definitely back to work – after all, someone has to pay for the bills.

My cousin is getting married in December and it should be fun to see the wedding plans from the outside. This time I won’t have to worry about the nitty-gritty. I just need to worry about what to wear!


Photos by Jim Liaw Photography

Music Makes The Mood

The venue gives you the first impact, the décor wow’s you but it is the music that sets the mood. You need to pick the right music for the night to set the right mood.

My hubby and I took a few nights pouring into our CD collection to get the right compilation of music for the night – slideshows, ceremony, pre and post-ceremony, cocktails, during dinner, pre and post dinner party. It was a really long list.

Don’t take it as a chore – it was actually bonding time for the both of us, reminiscing about our school days right down to those special songs which really took us down memory lane.

In the end though, we didn’t get to use up all the music we chose but we did set the mood and scene – to our liking at least. It really all depends on your guests, your own taste in music and how all that will jive. Our taste in music is a mixture of oldies (think Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, The Pretenders, Elvis) to the 80’s (think Pet Shop Boys) to current Pop (Lady Gaga, Ku De Ta) so it was a vast range; we figured that at least there would be something for everyone!

We didn’t get a band for Bali as we decided to pop in the IPod and enjoy everyone’s company and I have to say I had no regrets. The music set the mood enough for everyone to move their butts to the music and jump into the pool; we even had a YMCA dance routine going on in the pool!

But for KL, we did the total opposite and again no regrets. It was just the setting and scene each created. It suited everyone and suited the guests. We had a Chinese orchestra during dinner, a jazz band for the after-party and a drum performance in the middle just for the heck of it. The guests of all levels were duly entertained throughout the night.

Photos by Jim Liaw Photography

Trust Your Vendors

With so many people to choose from, how do you pick the right vendor for your wedding? Well you need to understand your theme / concept, your ideas and the overall look that you want to achieve. Then do some research of your own and check out vendors’ websites to see who has done a similar feel / idea / concept. Now make an appointment to meet up and be very upfront with your wants and needs. Most importantly, be honest about your budget.

From there you would be able to get a good proposal of ideas that will help you decide who is the right person for you. This works with any type of vendors, from florists to wedding planners to photographers to entertainers.

If you got all that and still do not know between vendor A or vendor B? Well, go with your gut feeling. To me, it is all about the relationship you can create. I wanted to have a good time planning my wedding and I didn’t want to be the phone call that all my vendors would shudder at nor did I want them to paint me a pretty picture when in fact everything has gone to the s***s.

But this is here is the next trick; you’ve picked your vendor (yes, make sure everything is in writing as per our previous blogpost) and therefore thou shall Trust In Your Vendor!!

Trust their judgment, trust their taste and trust that they only want what is best for you. Sometimes unforeseen things happen – “the shipment of peonies which got attacked by bugs and the next shipment won’t arrive on time” or “the ice carving broke into half on the way to the ballroom”. Trust that your vendor would still want to get the job done well, because their reputation is at stake too.

For me, the KL affair was a party like none other; with my vendors, I basically told them my overall concept, my theme colours and I left it as it is. For Anise (Garden Fairies), I went shopping with her one day, to buy some artificial berries, pots, vases and ribbons. I wanted her opinion and her judgment; at the time of buying, we had an idea of where it would be but not how it would be. I left that to Anise to create an Asian street, and trust me, she did. My KL affair - … think Shanghai bund, think Asian chic, think feathers and tight cheongsams.

My 3rd bridal bouquet (yes, she made me 3 bouquets – one for the morning, one for the mid- morning photography and one for my walk-in) was a creative masterpiece! It was uniquely Asian. For my bridal car, I just told her what make and model it would be and that was it. In the end, to suit my theme, she made my car look like an olden day “qi”, which made my in-laws very happy. Also no one could complain that the colour was not Chinese enough.

Another trick is to BE NICE. If you are nice to your vendors, if you trust them fully, you’ll be in for a sweet surprise. Time and time again, I get inside information (I’m a wedding planner you know) that vendors don’t mind going the extra mile for the couple, just because the couple was nice.

If you are a tart, you’ll be treated like one. Vendors will commit according to their contract but don’t expect more than that. Oh – do expect your phone calls to induce sour-puss faces on these vendors.

Moral of the story – Trust In Your Vendors.


Photos by Jim Liaw Photography

Trust Your Wedding Planner

Look, if you are getting a wedding planner, then you should go with your gut instinct- TRUST HER. If you can trust your initial judgment to hire her, you need to trust her throughout as she had been there for you throughout your planning process and for that – she will pull through for you on your wedding day.

I am the ultimate self-professed bridezilla. However, above all else, I wanted to enjoy my wedding. So when I handed over my wedding plans to Shirlyn, I trusted her and told her that although I’m a wedding planner myself, I trusted her and I left it to her to do what she thought would be right.

In every event, there will be bound to be the unexpected. But since your wedding planner has been your ‘wedding buddy’ for the past 4-12 months, you need to trust that she knows your tastes, your wants and your fears. Trust that in the event of “an unexpected” she will provide the right solutions to your best interest.

Apparently, there were so many ‘tiny’ issues on my wedding day (family, lost priest, forgotten lyrics) but I didn’t have any inkling whatsoever and if you asked me, I definitely did not want to know. So what if your cake is slightly tilted, so what if your flowers turned out redder than you would have liked, so what if the choir was singing the wrong version of the song. Your guests would never know the difference unless I decided to point it out myself!

I’ve read in so many articles that the day passes by very fast. As a wedding planner, I never felt that because my ankles, calves and my entire body was so tired by the end of the day I just felt like chopping off my legs and hanging them up for a rest. But as a bride, I totally get it now. Time flies. I remembered waking up and enjoying breakfast, remembered welcoming my bridal party, remembered having a massage on the beach, but from then on, time flew by so fast that I could not even catch my breath.

I didn’t know how to stop time or even slow it down and I even told my husband-to-be to please tell Father Time to pause for a while. But apparently he didn’t get the memo and before I knew it, I was waving goodbye to the last of my guests and it was already 2.30 in the morning! It was so true when they say time flies while you are having fun.

With that, don’t you want to spend your time doing something more meaningful, like enjoying the moment, catching the little touches, smiles and hugs, feeling the love? Trust your wedding planner and enjoy your wedding day.


Photos by Jim Liaw Photography

Destination Weddings

Destination weddings to me are the most perfect of all wedding celebrations because it sets the tone and mood for you. Anyone going on a holiday is already psyched up for a good time so when you invite guests for a destination wedding, they are already in a the mood for a good time.

What’s not to be liked for a destination wedding? You have an exotic location, a new experience for yourselves and for your guests, you have a picture-perfect backdrop, you can choose to have as simple or as unique a wedding setting and ultimately, you have a sense of sexiness for the unknown.

Of course, having said that, destination weddings are not meant for all. You need to know if it suits you. Are you keen on an adventure? Are you prepared for things that go out of control because they are really, beyond your control? Are you ready to just go with the flow? Are you always excited to try new things?

Because whilst there is all that sexiness and magic to it, a destination wedding is not without its fair share of chaos! So here are a few things for you to consider before you think about planning one (especially if you do not have a wedding planner):

The Unexpected : As sexy as it sounds, you have to expect the language barrier and miscommunications, the foreign exchange fluctuations, the hidden costs, permits, licenses and taxes, the local regulations and the variations in weather (sunrise, sunset, prayer times, tide times, etc).

The Logistics : This is definitely not sexy and can come up to quite a lot in terms of cost. You need to think about the exit tax or visas where applicable, ground transfers, insurance, extra baggage, meals and accommodations for family and crew as well as local phone calls. Thank God I had my wedding team in place so that they could handle all the nitty-gritty issues that I didn’t want to be bothered with. Which bride wants to be calling the van driver, the florist, the rain doctor (bomoh), the caterers, etc on their wedding day?

The Unknown : The local folklore / taboos, the surrounding atmosphere and setting. For us, the unknown was actually quite a funny story. We had done our site visit of our venue before we confirmed it and everything from the lighting to the tide times to the breeze were all meticulously checked. But we were not aware that the local village boys staying around the area liked to run into the sea naked! The evening before our wedding, while we were taking our pre-wedding photos on the beach, we saw three teenage boys in their birthday suits squatting over the water for a whole half hour! Not something I would like as my backdrop during my Catholic ceremony indeed! And luckily – it didn’t happen.

On the high side, the unknown is what will give you stories to tell in years to come, so not every unknown is bad :)

So my suggestion is to get a planner – whether you bring one along or hire one from the locale of your wedding, you should have someone who knows the local scene to help you coordinate your wedding details. With limited time and plenty of guests to entertain, you want to be able to enjoy yourself too!


Photos by Jim Liaw Photography