Two Ends Of The Extremes

Today is my 1st year wedding anniversary. Is it a milestone? I think it is. Of course, I know, the journey had just only began. Living as a married couple - as we all know, means a lot of give and take and mutual understanding and compromises. But I'm not about to go into all the "Tricks Of Making A Marriage Last" as I am no expert (although - I can offer this to those whose husbands are football fans - always ask for something when he is watching football :P).

This time last year, I was enjoying the glorious day that was my wedding - together with my other half. This year, I sit back and watch in glee as my partner-in-crime - Leticia gets ready for her wedding - which is just around the corner. Of course, given my position now as a 'guest' - I can tease her endlessly and laugh at her predicaments. Ok, ok. In all fairness, I also did offer my help (still sore that I am not doing that reading!!!).

You see, Leticia and I are really two ends of the extreme. She had been planning her wedding since she was a little girl, playing with her Barbie and Ken while I never thought of a wedding even after the proposal! When we had a dinner gathering last week, I was told that I lost hands-down in terms of over-the-top wedding demands. *grin*. Whilst I had threw tantrums in keeping my wedding as simple as possible (and guests list as small as possible : read post here), she's been driving industry friends nuts with her bridezilla demands. We were told right from the beginning that we could slap her if she became bridezilla - but you know what? We couldn't and we wouldn't because we love her. Just as most of our friends from the industry let me have some of my way for my wedding, we will let her have hers :) I can remember a time when Kris slapped me for requesting for a sarong as my wedding dress.... now he's slapping Leticia for the 7-layered wedding gown (or was it 8-layers??) which he's supposed to be lugging along for her to Bali :) :)

As close friends and being in the industry as well, when we are invited to weddings - we do get all excited and we try to be really supportive by going all out in the theme and making our arrangements and planning surprises (which is so difficult because some people keep letting the cat slip out of the bag!!). Me? Believe it or not - I even went to make myself a dress with Kris for Leticia's Bali wedding as I wanted to be in the correct theme (and I know I am not the only one!)

For us - who are planning that trip to Leticia's wedding in Bali - transport arrangements - Check! Accommodations arrangements - Check! Makan-makan itinerary - Check! Spa sessions - Check! Time for our own "getting ready for the wedding" - Check! Destination weddings are usually great fun for the guests as well because it is an excuse for the guests to go on a holiday too. And trust us to have our own fun ;)

For Leticia - and all the other brides out there with weddings around the corner, as we always preach - the wedding is about YOU. So what if Kris misses a spa appointment? Right? Or if I want to cancel my accommodation at Villa Diana? (Your wedding planner will take care of this, right???) Or if someone wants beef on the menu?? Hard luck. It's your day and don't side track from that.

ENJOY YOUR DAY and bask in the glow of love as all of your family and friends celebrate with you.

Who Should We Invite?

We often face this dillemma when planning our clients' weddings - in fact, even our own wedding. The dreaded invitation list. Naturally, there's always the if-i-invite-her-i-have-to-invite-her-as-well problem. Or else it is the if-i-don't-invite-him-he-would-get-offended problem. Much worse - the parents' extreme long list of friends and families - granted that they DO have way many more years ahead of the couple.

There is actually no hard and fast rule about who you should or shouldn't invite to your wedding. Some of our clients choose to do separate weddings to cater to separate guests - usually, it is one for the family and one for themselves with close friends (and usually, this one is a destination one!).

When I was planning the invite list with my hubby for our wedding in Bali, it was crucial that we kept the list small as my husband and I wanted to keep the party as intimate as possible. We never started with a huge list because all we did was worked around the following basic questions : 

1) Who do I most want to celebrate this special occasion with?
Ans : Immediate and close family members and friends whom we miss / will miss when we don't see them

2) When I look back at the wedding album, do I really want to see photos of people I don't really know (or care about) at a celebration of one of the milestones of my life?
Ans : No. I don't really want to see photos of people I am not really familiar with or photos of people who would not be jogging good memories when I flip open my wedding album 20 years down the road (well, granted that sometimes, the friendship may go awry after the wedding too)

3)  I don't really want my boss around at this party. Would he be offended?
Ans : Refer to answer for Question 2

4) Do I need to invite business associates / colleagues?
Ans : Only if they are also friends and not just business associates / colleagues - who would be happy for us and our celebration and who would not bitch about the wedding

5) So-and-so has requested to bring his girlfriend. Do I allow that?
Ans : If so-and-so is a really, really close friend / best friend / childhood friend, then a +1 would be fine. (like the time my best friend, Kah Mun got married and she said I could bring a +1, and I ended marrying THAT +1) 

The questions may sound heartless, not politically correct, rude to some even - but at least - it gave us a focus and most importantly, it put things into perspective for us. Let's put it this way - I knew that as families, close friends or best friends or good friends - they would understand when we impose such strict "guest rules" to our invitation (no kids, no unnecessary +1, etc...) and they would be willing to come just because they really do want to be there with you on your special day.

We were one of the lucky ones though - to be able to cater to three separate groups of guests, and some close friends / families who missed us at one reception could opt to come along for the next reception - it does not make them less important. At least we have photos of them in our wedding album :)

So next time, when you do fret over your invitation list - we hope that the above list of basic questions would come in handy. But as always - what works for some, may not work for others.

Have fun planning your wedding!

** Photo of wedding stationery by Kid Chan Studios