Monday, March 5, 2012
The bridezilla; is not a mystical creature or even related to the movie icon Godzilla, but beware the bridezilla is a very real and terrifying creature. The sweetest and most understanding girl can turn out to be a bridezilla overnight.
I should know , I was definitely one. Ask any of my wedding vendors, my bridal party, my friends and family they will all agree I was a 100% bridezilla on a rampage during my wedding plans. They shivered whenever I called to ask a question.
The bridezillas natural habitat is the ballroom of a grand hotel, she eats bridesmaids for breakfast and if you tell her that you won't be able to get the right shade of red roses she wants, her icy stare will turn you to stone.
Here are some tell tale signs :
- She wants a shade of "happy" green that only she knows and feels, when you've shown her the 100th shade of green and she still screams that its not "happy" enough, you, by sheer luck show her the very first green shade and she loves it.
- She makes her bridesmaids agree to lose weight for her wedding and then weighs them periodically
- Bridezilla makes you wear gloves to protect the invitations you are stuffing them into envelopes
- She chooses the ugliest bridesmaid dresses in history so that she'll look extra beautiful by comparison
- The wedding ceremony is at noon, but the reception doesn't start until 6pm. Whatever. Its her special day, so everyone else can just deal with it
- Bridezilla gets mad if guests don't dress up to her standard on her wedding day
- Bridezillas were born the day the first bride-to-be asked for the reception venue to be painted to match her colors, the chandeliers to be more cheery and the carpets to match her eyes.
- She demands to have 3 types of nuts in her wedding cake, even though the poor groom is allergic to nuts
- She tried 6 makeup artist (no matter the cost) before deciding on one for the morning and one for the evening.
- Although no one else can see that 1mm discrepancy in the way the branch on her tree is tilted more to the left than the other branch (on her invitation card), she spots it and reprints the entire batch of cards
- She bought, customized and shipped every little detail you can think of from all over the world. From faux diamonds to strew on the tables, to a customized parasol that costs USD 250 just to use for photos, to handmade candies for her candy bar, to even flying the right scent of essential oil just for the restrooms.
- The last but not least easiest way to spot a bridezilla (super fast too), they tell you, “I’m getting married!” – This is the best and quickest way to figure out if you’re dealing with a bridezilla. When they tell you they are getting married, if they never mention their husband, it’s a good sign that she’s a bridezilla. First of all, “she” isn’t getting married,“they’re” getting married. Second of all, “I’m getting married!” is almost always followed by, “I’ve got so much work to do now.” There’s goes that “I” word again. Remember, “Never I, never me, always us, always we” … wait, I mean, “Our marriage, their wedding” … wait, well you know what I mean.
The bridezilla's main aim is (in her terms) to have a flawless wedding, perfect (according to her) to the tee. As a friend, just stand back so that you won't get burnt, as the groom, this is a true test of whether you love her or not, if you can survive this, you can survive anything.
If you have any of these traits you're a BRIDEZILLA - Bless us all ..